


this is just... fun

by whoisliina (isaacbahey)



Series: grab hold [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Hand Jobs, Multi, Spanking, Voyeurism, ashton is the worst, tiny hints to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 16:13:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6573106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isaacbahey/pseuds/whoisliina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“And you thought I was <b>comfortable</b> with fooling around with my bandmates? Who I’m supposed to retain a working relationship with? Jesus.”</i><br/><i>That one does sting. Ash looks down at their feet and almost spits back that sex changes nothing between them, that even being fucking head over heels in love with <b>all of them</b> changes absolutely nothing because Ash isn’t controlled by his dick or even his lovesick brain, because first and foremost they’re best friends, but Calum beats him to it with something way more sensible and way less scary.</i><br/>---<br/>(Ashton's POV of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/6475501">grab hold, don't let go</a>.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is just... fun

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, thank you so much for the incredible response to the first part of this! it was and still is beyond any of my expectations (hopes, even) and it blows me away that so many of you liked it so much.
> 
> so, backstory on this monstrosity: when i finished writing "grab hold", i thought: "it'd be cool to write companion pieces to this from the other guys' viewpoints."  
> ha, ha, ha, _ha_. "companion pieces". sure. this is actually longer than the original was, and i think i've officially lost my mind.
> 
> This isn't the part two a lot of you guys were asking for but i think it might be better in a way?
> 
> i hope you enjoy it. <3

Ashton should really practice saying “no”. To a lot of things. At least to every single idea Calum ever has.

Because it’s Calum’s fault they’re in this club together, it’s Calum’s fault they’re grinding against each other like there’s no tomorrow, it’s Calum’s fault that Ash’s pants keep getting tighter. It’s probably also Calum’s fault somehow that Ash wants, like, happily ever afters instead of happy endings. Or in addition to the happy endings. He really does like the sex. It’s just that there’s feelings.

He knows this thing they’ve gotten themselves into is dangerous and ridiculous and if Ashton weren’t as weak a man as he is, he’d stop it before things get difficult.

The thing is, they already sort of _are_ difficult. Always have been. Also, Ashton is a very, _very_ weak man.

Calum’s been sending looks his way all day, and they’ve been doing this thing long enough that Ash knew at ten in the morning that Calum has sex plans. It’s been hard to know that and also not do anything about it. All it takes for Ashton to be in the mood is for Cal or Michael to be in the mood, because he loves being wanted and needed more than anything else. So now he’s in the mood and Calum’s only started dancing.

Cal had invited everyone to the club, promising Ash and Mikey in secret that he’s gonna try and convince Luke to join them, again. (Convince, ha – it’s more like suggestive eyebrow waggling until Luke catches on and looks scared until they stop.) Mikey backed out shortly after hearing that with excuses of tiredness.

Ashton understands. Unrequited love sucks balls, especially when you’re as hung up on someone as Michael is on Luke. At least Ashton has two other boys to love, even if it’s only for a few hours every now and then. He can be with Calum tonight, maybe Michael, too, and even though Luke’s continued absence saddens him, he handles it.

Luke decides he’s not into dancing when he’s sober, so they have a few drinks first, discussing their recent shows, having a laugh and relaxing. Ashton almost wishes this were the extent of their relationship – that they could be best friends enjoying their downtime together. Instead, there’s sex and feelings and fear, and Ash tries not to think about Luke hopefully possibly maybe joining them this time. He shouldn’t be too optimistic – it hasn’t worked so far.

Cal starts fidgeting after three glasses of rum and Coke and begins to heavily hint that they should dance. Since Luke still doesn’t want to move, Ash tries to get Cal to sit still but in the end, as always, he indulges. It’s very hard to say no to any of his bandmates.

“We’re not gonna go far, we’ll be right here. You’re not even gonna be alone,” he tells Luke, his hand almost hurting where Calum keeps tugging on it. “You’ll come too, soon, right?”

Luke gives a nod that doesn’t look like a promise, cupping his beer in both of his hands. He looks happy enough, though, so Ashton leaves with a kiss to Luke’s hair. He’s been careful with touching Luke lately, unsure where the borders run and what Luke would consider too much, but these kisses always seem fine enough. They’ve been around for years.

Ashton thinks about Luke a lot for the first five minutes they spend on the dancefloor. When Calum turns his back to him, however, wastes no time in coming close and presses his ass right against Ash’s crotch, Ash starts to forget there’s anyone else in the club at all. His hands find Calum’s hips naturally, a practiced move after so much dancing and other activities, and he doesn’t look back at their table for a while. Calum is so good against him and Ash feels like he’s been hung on a string the entire day, so of course he throws all he has into grinding against Calum. He’s getting hard already, which he doesn’t feel too upset about. It’s a natural progression of things.

Cal turns around in his arms after an indeterminable amount of time and Ash is a bit shaken when he looks into his eyes. Calum’s forehead is covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his eyes look all black and he is beautiful under the lights. Calum smirks at him before smashing their lips together, and even though their kiss is wild and hungry, all Ashton can think about is how deep in he is.

How fucking in love he is with the boy pressed against him.

How’s that for some carefree fun between friends?

He’d freak out about it if this feeling were new; instead, it turns him on even more than he already was. When Calum pulls away, beaming, Ashton leans closer to say into Calum’s ear, low enough to sound possessive and loud enough to be heard, “I’m gonna drag you into the bathroom if you don’t stop.”

Calum seems to consider it for a second, one corner of his mouth curling into a smirk. Then, as if remembering, he asks, “Well, what are we gonna do about Luke, then?”

Oh, right, yeah. Luke. They are here with Luke and for Luke, who seems to be a bit grumpy, sitting alone on the sofa they chose for themselves. He still hasn’t moved, but there are more empty glasses in front of him. Ashton is mildly concerned, so they go back to him to cool down.

Luke seems to lighten up when he has company. Ashton sits right next to him and Calum curls up beside him as if that’s a nice and natural thing to do. Ash’s hand curls around Calum like it always does, and Ash can’t hold back a smile when Calum presses his face into his neck, even kisses it a couple of times. Luke eyes them with a slight frown, but doesn’t mention anything. Instead, they jump back into their conversation, the stuff they talked about before all the grinding. Cal doesn’t say anything, stays hidden in Ashton’s neck for almost all of it, but Luke looks happy and Ash feels happy.

See, Calum advertised this _thing_ as some harmless fun between mates, and Ashton tries to play along within those borders, but it’s hard when it wasn’t harmless fun for him to begin with. Ash should have said no to it right then and there, not gotten himself messed up in a polyamory that he’s not sure is an _amory_ at all. Calum’s just a horny little bastard who can’t be bothered to look for new people all the time, so he goes to his bandmates for sex. Ashton gets the logic.

But then there’s times like these when Calum is pressed against him so tight, giving him little kisses, smiling at him gently or playing with his fingers and Ashton gets confused about things. That’s not fun, that’s not what was advertised, and Ashton still wants it with a ferocity. It feels like more-than-sex, and Ash is an optimist.

They leave Luke happier than before and head out to dance again soon. When they remind him to come dance, too, he seems more promising about it. Ash doesn’t let himself get as lost as he did before, but it’s still hard to tear his eyes away from Calum. He shoots Luke a few curious looks though, just to make sure he isn’t actually starting a drinking glass museum.

Calum pulls away from him after some more vigorous grinding, nods his head towards Luke, apparently deciding for a more active approach. Ashton nods – maybe Luke needs some physical reinforcement then, needs to be herded to the dancefloor. Ash wants him there, hopes there’s a plea on his face that Luke understands. Apparently, either his face or Calum’s works, because Luke laughs and finally gets up.  He stumbles a bit like a deer on ice and Ash eyes the glasses on the table again, but at least Luke is up for it now. Whatever “it” is. Probably just dancing.

Ashton puts his hands on Luke’s hips this time, smiles at him brightly.

“I’m glad you joined us,” he says and Luke smiles right back, hips swaying in time with the music. Calum runs his fingers over Ashton’s and there’s an excited smile on his face. Ash doesn’t want to hope.

Ash hopes.

Him and Calum are very sneaky about edging ever closer to him on both sides, slowly nearing him until Ash’s and Luke’s chests are nearly pressed together. Luke hasn’t said anything, maybe hasn’t even noticed, and Ashton is happy they’ve gotten him this close. This is unprecedented, basically.

Cal looks prematurely victorius behind Luke and it makes Ashton smile. He leans closer and Cal needs to get on his tiptoes to kiss him, but they do it anyway. This does get Luke’s attention and Ash ignores the pang of disappointment in his chest when his reaction doesn’t seem be too positive.

“Guys,” he says carefully and Ashton pulls away from Calum to look at Luke, to make sure he’s okay. Calum, whose lips are apparently unsatisifed, moves on to Luke’s neck and Ash can both see and feel Luke shiver at the touch, can hear him groan. It’s so hot, seeing them together like this, that Ash loses brain function for a few seconds. This is something he’d like to see daily. Hourly, probably. Deep down, Ashton knows they should stop, that Luke is on the verge of saying no, but he wants it too much to be the one to end it. He cups Luke’s cheek, looks at him carefully, tries to calm him down via intraband telepathy. It doesn’t work.

“Guys,” Luke repeats, even more distraught, and Calum lifts his head, makes eye contact with Ash. Ash decides to jump right in, knows that if they don’t do anything, nothing will happen, so he grinds forward.

He knew he was hard. The fact that Luke is, too, is news to him, though. It’s at once scary and amazing and Ash wants to keep going, grind again, but then he’s pushed away almost violently. Ashton stumbles back a few steps, eyes on Luke who’s running away, and then his hand is in Calum’s and they’re following him before Ash’s brain can catch up – it’s still on a loop of _shit shit shit shit shit_. What are they going to do when they catch him, anyway? Apologize? Explain? Try to change his mind? Ashton has no idea. He hopes the words come to him in the few seconds it takes them to reach Luke.

When they reach him, Luke looks absolutely terrified, lets out the most distressed sound Ashton has ever heard and he feels bad instantly. Guilty, most of all, for putting Luke in this position, for being rash and selfish. Why would Luke go along with something he’s protested against so much earlier? This was a dumb idea. Ashton wants to calm him down, let him know it’s alright and they’re not going to push it because they’re not assholes. But also, he wants Luke to know it’s okay to want this. Because it felt like Luke wanted this, and if he’s holding himself back from something he wants, then he’s a big dumb baby.

(Yes, Ashton is the authority on this.)

So, that’s what Ashton opens with, arms around him but their hips apart. He doesn’t want to impose his boner on Luke, especially when the boy is shivering in his arms, breaths quick and shallow. “Luke, it’s okay,” he says quietly and knows what a shitty comfort it is. Luke knows it, too.

“How is it okay,” he says, and it’s not even a question. Luke is maybe too scared to actually say Ashton’s words are bullshit, but his reply makes it seems like that’s what he means.  “How... How is this entire band just... into each other or some shit? Are we all into guys now? I’m not... I don’t get this.” Ashton feels guilty for the fact that none of them have spoken about this (oh, god, what a can of worms that could probably be), neither to Luke nor to each other. Ash doesn’t know what to say, so he simply holds on to Luke a little tighter. Luckily, Calum has the words this time.

“Luke, it’s not a big deal. It doesn’t have to be this big scary thing, it can just... be us, you know?” he whispers and it almost feels like déjà vu. Ash has heard these words before. Calum whispered pretty much the exact same thing the first (and only) time he had to convince Ash to join him. Ash believed it within a minute. Luke, though, seems to be way more stubborn. He laughs, but it doesn’t even sound like him, or like laughter.

“I didn’t even... How long have you been doing this? Feeling this? Am I the only one who’s straight in this band?” he asks when he’s stopped the honestly terrifying laughter. He won’t look at Ashton, eyes flicking over something in the background, flashing here and there. Then, his face falls and his next questions are nothing like the previous ones; instead of anger and outrage there’s fear.

 “Am I even straight? Why don’t I know?”

Oh, shit, this is a sexuality crisis and Ash has absolutely no idea what to do. They’ve pushed Luke into doubting himself, into confusion and panic and Ash is so, so, so sorry. He hopes it’s not a permanent fuck-up. He presses their cheeks together, runs his fingers through Luke’s hair a few times and thinks. He doesn’t know what to say to something like this. The only thing he comes up with sounds harsh when they escape his mouth.

“If you’re questioning it, you might not be,” he says quietly, wincing at the words himself despite them being true. Luke lets out another panicked whimper and Ashton hushes him, fingers still in his hair. He softens his blow with “And that’s fine, that’s... You know. What Cal said, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.” Of course, he’d like it to be more than fun and games, but he can’t tell Luke that. Or Calum. Or Michael. They’d all freak out and leave.

Luke doesn’t seem to understand that there’s no need for this to be a big deal. “It is, though!” he replies, angry again after brief panic, and when he carries on, he sounds almost spiteful. “I don’t know who the fuck I am and I’m not sure what you are, and what are the fucking odds that four guys in the same band are gay? Moreover, that they’re into each other, fuck!”

Ashton almost flinches at that, but does his best to not take it personally. They’ve essentially trapped a wounded animal in a corner, of course he’s lashing out. Calum looks serious and a little attacked, too, but when he opens his mouth again, he sounds calm and collected.

“I think gay people, like, find each other instinctively. They huddle together. Like penguins. And start bands sometimes,” he says, and Ashton barely holds back a snort. Cal is ridiculously chill about this, balances Ash’s sage advice out with a fucking _penguin joke_ , and the worst part is it _works_. Luke stops shivering in their arms, even laughs a little although it sounds small and scared. Ash is so grateful Cal is here – without him, Ash would have freaked out as well and him and Luke would probably both be crying or something.

“Plus, we aren’t even gay. Ash is bi, Michael and I are pan,” Calum adds as if it’s truly not a big deal, as if these labels don’t mean a terrifying something for all of them. As if they change nothing.

“I don’t know what I am, though,” Luke says, eyes on the ground, and at least for this, Ashton has an answer.

“You don’t have to know for sure. Just do what you’re comfortable with, figure it out over time,” he says and feels proud of it up until the moment Luke whips his head up, giving them another mean-sounding laughter.

“And you thought I was _comfortable_ with fooling around with my bandmates? Who I’m supposed to retain a working relationship with? Jesus.”

That one does sting. Ash looks down at their feet and almost spits back that sex changes nothing between them, that even being fucking head over heels in love with _all of them_ changes absolutely nothing because Ash isn’t controlled by his dick or even his lovesick brain, because first and foremost they’re best friends, but Calum beats him to it with something way more sensible and way less scary.

“Me and Ash still have an excellent working relationship,” he says, and Ashton lifts his eyes again to look at him. He’s smiling a little. “Me and Michael, too. So do Ash and Mikey. No amount of fun is breaking this band apart.” His voice is level, like he was hurt, too, but chose not to get pissed at Luke, and Ash smiles at him very gently. Calum is right – nothing’s changed between them, the band is still a whole, and as long as Luke calms down, that’s how it’ll remain.

“So, what? All three of you just fool around occasionally? In pairs? All of you at once? Am I the fourth wheel, now?” Luke picks up an entirely new thread, tugs on it, and Ashton is curious. This sounds like jealousy, now. Ash is not sure he has the right to be jealous, really.

“Luke... We’ve tried,” he begins slowly, eyes on Luke again. “We’ve wanted to include you in this, you must have noticed. But you kept pushing us away. You can’t blame us for not including you when you refused to be included.” He gives himself an exasperated mental high five for excellent use of words and making his point clear. Luke doesn’t even have a counterargument and Calum nods at him with a gentle smile, like a “good job”. Now the fight seems to drain out of Luke and the boy looks scared and confused again. Ash follows Calum’s fingers with his gaze when they wrap around Luke’s.

“We want you to want this,” Calum says, calm and quiet. “If you say no, that’s okay, we’ll back off. But, um... You seemed into it before?” Ashton wants to smile – hell yeah Luke was into it, or at least a part of him was – but forces it down out of politeness.

“If I say no, you’re just gonna go and get off with each other, right?” Luke asks and Ashton can’t help but blush.

“Yeah,” he admits – what’s the point in lying, anyway? “We were gonna head back soon anyway,” he tries to soothe it. “We weren’t gonna leave you alone in there to go fuck.”

Luke’s lips twitch, but not in a smile, and his laughter sounds hollow. Ashton wants to get inside his head more than he wants to get inside his pants right now. He wants to know what Luke is thinking and calm him down. To make him _get it_.

He wants it even more when Luke comes up with another subject change. “So, you’re dating? Each other and Michael? Or is it a bros with benefits kind of thing?” he asks, confused, and Ashton can’t blame him for his curiosity. He’s testing the waters, now. He’s not saying no. It’s promising. Ash and Calum shrug at him in unison and Calum steps out from behind Luke now, still holding on to his hand (that Luke is gripping now, not even close to letting go or shying away). He wraps his other arm around Ashton, which feels grounding and nice. Ash’s brain calms down a little.

“It doesn't really matter,” Calum answers Luke’s question with proper words this time. “It’s about feeling good, and as long as we feel good around each other, there’s no point in making it difficult.”

“Do you, like, love each other?” Luke asks, and WHOA. This, Ashton doesn’t expect. His cheeks light up, he can feel it, and the blush deepens when Luke looks at him. Luckily, he doesn’t call him out on it. Ash is not gonna say a single fucking word about love right now. Not a word about he loves Calum _and_ Michael _and_ Luke, how he loves them all so much it terrifies him. In a way, it looks like Luke reads him loud and clear anyway.

Calum is the embodiment of chill when he replies, “Of course we do. We all love each other, we have for years. We love you, too, and you love us.” It makes it sound like not a big deal, which was probably Calum’s whole point, but it also hurts a little, because to Ash, this _is_ a big deal. Possibly the biggest. It hurts to have all the things that he does and feels shrunk down to “best friends fooling around”.

“It’s different though,” Luke argues and catches Ashton’s eye. Ash feels again that Luke knows everything, but manages a smile.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says and the words feel bitter in his mouth. “Nothing’s gonna go wrong. We love each other like we always have. This is just... fun.” It’s not, _it’s fucking not_ , but if that helps Luke, Ash can lie. Ash can keep his own perspective secret.

Luke looks lost with how he stares at the ground, runs hands through his hair and sighs heavily. Ashton wants to ease the pain, to finish this awful standoff and go back to... fun. He leans closer as soon as Luke lifts his gaze, assuming Luke’s made a decision. Everything hinges on this, now. If Ash is gonna have all of them. If Mikey’s gonna have what he’s always wanted. If Luke says no, they can never ask this of him again.

Ash is surprised when Calum leans in even closer, only stops a few inches from Luke’s lips. What does he think he’s doing? Won’t he scare him off? Did they come to some agreement without Ashton realising?

“You in, then?” Calum asks in his seductive voice – Ashton has fallen victim to that plenty of times, he knows it well. He’s still a bit scared that they’re pressuring Luke into something he doesn’t want, but when Luke nods, he looks sincere. Ash gets hit with a sudden _he’s in he’s with us we did it_ and so Calum and Luke’s kiss is a little lost on him. He does notice Luke reaching out, though, and takes his hand, looking at it in wonder. Luke is theirs. Luke is actually theirs.

Calum looks like he’s seen heaven when he pulls away. Ashton can relate. Luke smiles, too, and then Ash allows himself to relax. This is actually happening, Luke is sincere and wants this.

“Poor Michael’s gonna have to hold my foot,” he even jokes, looking down at all their joined hands, and they all laugh. Ashton doesn’t let it last long: he hasn’t had a kiss yet. He’d be nuts not to want a kiss from Luke. As far as he knows, this might be the only time Luke agrees to this, so he isn’t gonna throw away his shot. He leans in and Luke meets him somewhere in the middle.

Luke’s lips are soft and warm against his, and Ashton feels a little dizzy. Luke has a similar stubble to Michael, one that Calum doesn’t (or can’t) grow, but other than that, it’s completely new. He is way more gentle than the others; doesn’t tease and bite like Michael, doesn’t try to dominate as much as Calum. Ash needs to press forward himself to kiss him better. It stirs feelings in him, like wanting to kiss without clothes and preferably horizontally, but he doesn’t push it quite yet. He pulls away after a few more moments and feels pride when he sees the dazed look in Luke’s eyes. He leans his forehead against Luke’s, not even trying to hold back the dumb smile on his face.

“I’m so happy,” he whispers, squeezing Luke’s hand when he smiles back. “Let’s go home,” he says then, because he’s so turned on it’s almost uncomfortable by now, and he needs Luke and Calum and possibly Michael on his bed. Well... If Luke’s in, Michael won’t mind being woken up. Calum pulls out his phone, probably to get a cab, and Ash just stares at him and Luke until Cal finishes. He's still getting used the changes.

“Let’s get our jackets,” Calum proposes, but Luke doesn’t move. Ashton is scared for a second that he’s backing out anyway, but the look on his face is no longer one of fear. It looks more like embarrassment.

“Um... Can you... Can you guys kiss again?” he asks, eyes flicking to the ground, and he looks back up at Ashton when he finishes, a beautiful blush on his face. Ash can’t say no to him even when he’s being a little shit, but like this, it’s completely impossible. Besides, he doesn’t want to say no. He’s not a moron. He wants to kiss Calum at all times, and if that helps Luke somehow, then all the better.

“I guess it won’t kill us,” Calum says, chuckling, and Ashton honestly means to pinch him for it. But the look Calum gives him when they face each other is... something else. It’s something almost scarily soft and feelingsy. Loving, even, though Ash doesn’t want to give himself false hope. He slides his free hand to Calum’s cheek and smiles at him gently before capturing his lips in a kiss.

That, too, is something else. Usually, they kiss for sex purposes; it’s a lead-up to something else, mostly, not something they trade just for fun. Ashton finds himself replaying the non-sex kisses in his head a lot, since he gets so little of those.  This is his chance and Ash takes it, holds Calum close and squeezes Luke’s hand, too. He can’t help but linger against Calum’s lips, lean closer when Cal seems to pull away, and he can feel Calum smile through it. It makes him smile, too, and so they break away after a few more seconds. Calum’s still smiling at him and Ashton’s insides are doing somersaults. Ashton runs his thumb over Calum’s lower lip, fights with himself over whether he should kiss Calum again, and finally turns to Luke. He’s grateful to see Luke laughing, genuinely this time, and he seems at peace walking back inside, hand in hand with both him and Calum.

Ash guesses Luke still needs some encouragement, so that’s what he gives him when they’re all in the backseat of a cab, Luke sandwiched between them again. Ashton’s hand is around Luke’s shoulders; Calum is clinging to one of Luke’s hands. It makes Luke seem like a natural part of this. Which, Ash guesses, he is, now.

“We’ve wanted to be with you for a long time,” he says near Luke’s ear, but still loud enough for Calum to hear. “All of us. It’s not the same with just the three of us. We’ve been missing you.” Luke blushes at that, holds on to Calum’s hand a little tighter. “Listen, Michael is going to flip when he finds out. He’s been... He’s wanted you most, and that... That’s saying something,” he continues, and Calum runs his free hand up Luke’s thigh. Which is a lot to handle.  Ashton can’t even imagine how happy Michael is going to be when he finds out. Ash sort of guesses he’s gonna call dibs on Luke, but he can respect that. As long as Luke still kisses him a few more times.

“We’ve been doing this for a while, so don’t worry about anything. This isn’t gonna screw anything up. It works, it works so well. It’s perfect, just what we need,” he says, quieter this time, and Luke leans his head on his shoulder. Ashton smiles at him.

He gets to stay close to Luke when they get to the hotel, since Calum has taken it upon himself to inform Michael of their situation. Ashton can only imagine what a whirlwind it’s going to be. Calum kisses both of them before walking off down the hallway, and Ash is still in wonder at how natural it feels. Perfect, now that they’re all involved. He leads Luke into his room, excitement building in his stomach and a little bit below that.

“You good?” he asks, because consent is important and he doesn’t want Luke to be uncomfortable for any of this. He’s had enough discomfort for a long time, now he needs to relax.Of course, Ashton wants to remove some clothes and touch some body parts, but a) it wouldn’t feel right without Michael and Calum and b) Mikey would kill him if anyone got their hands on Luke’s dick before he could.

“It’s just... scary and new, is all,” Luke replies after nodding, and this, Ash understands.

“I know what you mean,” says, smiling a little. “You know, what Cal said to you before... About this not having to be a big deal? He said pretty much the same thing to me when we... started this. And then Michael, too.” Ashton remembers joining Calum after lots of drinks and some obnoxious flirting. He’d been scared, first, but Calum had calmed him down with the same words he’d used on Luke, and Ash had believed them. He probably already had a crush back then, he just hadn’t admitted it yet. It took longer with Michael: he gave a flat out no the first time, felt curious but scared the second time and finally agreed on the third. Calum had been so happy, then, all giggles and smiles, and Ash had been so floored, amazed by the fact that his crushes kept coming to him, wanting to be with him. The first night with Michael had been incredible, making him feel something he hasn’t been able to shake since. He guesses tonight will be even more profound.

“So Calum got the party started? That minx,” Luke says with a laugh. It makes Ashton laugh, too, and shake the memories that make him feel tinglier than he’s willing to admit.

“Yep,” Ash confirms. “He’s very persuasive.” He sits down next to Luke, wraps an arm around him and holds him close.

“I can’t believe you want to do this,” he says, eyes unwaveringly on Luke. He has no reason to look away.

“Yeah, me neither,” Luke replies, slightly abashed. “What is _this_ , even? Like, should I prepare for gags or handcuffs?” he asks, and Ashton laughs at that. It definitely makes him feel things, lots of things, but he doesn’t want to scare Luke off. Besides, he hasn’t even done that with Calum or Michael, yet.

“Don’t worry,” he says to Luke, nudging him gently. “It’s gonna be whatever you want it to be. We’re not gonna push you to do anything you don’t want to.” He means it, of course – he wants this to be amazing for Luke. Amazing enough that Luke will never want to leave.

“I don’t know if I’m, like... Ready for, um...” Luke admits then, eyes on his lap, and Ashton can’t help but pick on him. “Anal?” he asks and laughs when Luke’s head shoots up again. Luke looks scared at the mere mention of it, so Ash kisses his shoulder for comfort. “Like I said, we won’t push you,” he repeats to make it absolutely sure. “We’d all be fine if you just wanted to kiss us.”

“But you’re gonna fuck,” Luke says with some kind of certainty, and Ashton has to nod with a smirk. Why would he lie, anyway? “That’s not, like, something to live up to, though,” he comforts Luke, then. “Me and Cal are... seasoned pros.”

“Jesus,” Luke says to that, but he doesn’t look shell-shocked, even laughs a little. It’s a start. Then, the door flies open and Michael looks absolutely crazed in the doorway. Ashton can see Calum behind him, laughing in an endeared sort of way.

“Give him to me,” Michael croaks. He looks like he’s been blessed by every single deity when his frantic eyes find Luke, and a second later, he lands in Luke’s lap. Ashton wonders if he does that lovestruck face, too, when he looks at all of them. He looks at Michael kiss Luke almost desperately and his chest thrums with the feeling of companionship. They’re on the same boat, Michael and him; taking this as so much more than sex and fun, wanting something they might never get. Ashton is not sure how to bond with him on this, considering he is also in love with _Michael_ , but if he ever manages to open his dumb mouth, it’ll probably be to him.

Ash’s attention drifts from Michael’s starry-eyed amazement and his quiet, awed words when Calum comes to stand in front of him. He looks content when he falls into Ash’s arms in a practiced kind of way, smiles at Ash before straddling him so he’s comfortable. Ashton smiles up at him, unable not to with how crinkly the corners of Calum’s eyes are, and then kisses him, one hand in his hair, the other finding its way downward. Calum doesn’t want to be teased for long, grinds against Ash to remind him of their purpose here, and Ash realises he’s been turned on for, like, hours now and really needs to do something about it. He goes for the most obvious thing and reaches into Calum’s jeans and then his boxers. He could open a button but his brain isn’t cooperating right now. Calum groans in a beautiful way, which catches Luke’s attention, and Ashton is pleased to see he doesn’t look upset about dicks basically out in the open. Ash even smiles at him and Luke blushes. Then, though, when Cal grinds against him again, Ashton’s world gets sort of tunnel-visiony and he barely notices Michael and Luke’s quiet conversation. His eyes are on Calum, taking in his every breath and every blink of his hooded eyes and every movement of him against Ash, in sync with Ash’s strokes on his dick. It drives him insane.

As soon as Calum lets out another moan, Ashton feels desperate. He needs to be inside Calum like three hours ago, so he doesn’t waste any more time. “Clothes off,” he says to Calum, almost thrown off by how low and fucked his voice already sounds. Ash is very willing to watch Calum strip for him, but when Luke gets up, offers to help, he finds it impossible to resist. He grins at Luke, hand already reaching out for Michael. Mikey does crawl right to him, a wide smile on his face, and kisses him without ceremony. Ashton smiles through it, feels the bitter taste of vodka on Michael’s tongue and pulls him closer by instinct. He knows Michael hasn’t just been drinking alone, that the alcohol was supposed to calm his nerves before having sex with the love of his life or some shit, and Ashton totally, completely understands. He had needed it, too, all three times.

Michael kisses him eagerly, shifts around in a second to palm Ashton through his jeans. Ash is so desperate he bucks up instantly and Michael bites on his lower lip in response, teases and smiles while getting the button open. Ash takes a look at Michael’s sweatpants and feels a moment of envy at the freedom Michael must feel in those. They are much easier to maneuver past, so that’s what he does, slides his hand right under the waistband. He finds no trace of boxers, which makes him grin. Michael knows how to feel comfy. That also means there’s nothing but empty air standing between Ashton’s hand and Michael’s dick. Ashton eliminates the distance, revels in the way Michael hums contentedly through the kiss, and strokes Michael with a lot less difficulty than he did Calum just a minute ago. Michael seems to strongly appreciate it, more eager in getting rid of Ash’s jeans and getting his hand into Ashton’s underwear. The jeans slide a bit downwards, barely covering anything, but Ash doesn’t mind, only kisses Michael more and deeper.

He feels Luke land on the bed and finally pulls away. He’s the only one who hasn’t been able to make out with Luke yet, and that’s a mistake he intends to fix immediately. He leans over Luke when Michael has gotten up, smiles at him before kissing him rougher than before, already wishing Luke were wearing less clothes. Undressing seems to be the trend right now, anyway.

“Can I take it off?” he asks, eyeing the shirt for a second, and Luke’s answering nod is more enthusiastic than Ashton expects it to be. He smiles, carefully tugs at the shirt until it’s over Luke’s head, and then Luke is the one to kiss him again. Ash doesn’t see where the shirt goes and he doesn’t particularly care, either, because Luke’s hands are suddenly squeezing his ass and Ash hums through their kiss. He’s pressed against Luke like this, and Luke must feel how hard he is, but he does nothing to move away. Ash is pleased.

Michael calls out for Luke and Ashton doesn’t feel too much disappointment, since he gets to press kisses to Luke’s neck, too, and judging by the way Luke’s breath hitches at that, he’s doing great. When it becomes apparent Mikey wants his Luke back, Ashton pulls away with a smile, goes back to Calum. Cal looks dazed and like his legs aren’t quite carrying him.

“Ash, please,” he says between kisses and something in Ashton’s stomach flips at his desperation. Michael hasn’t been holding back if Calum is so gone already.

“Yeah, babe,” he replies, hands roaming over Calum’s body. “Get on the bed, I’ll be right there.” Calum smiles almost gratefully, plops down on the bed. Ashton takes the few steps to his suitcase, rummages in it until he finds a bottle of lube and a pack of condoms. He’s guessing Michael and Luke won’t need them, but it’s nice to be prepared, so he takes three. He has ears on all of the boys, the sex-haze broken by the fact he’s sort of alone at the moment, and what he hears makes him smile.

“Nothing I’m not ready for, yeah?” Luke asks, and there might be a tiny bit of uncertaity, but he’s not afraid anymore, Ash thinks.

“Promise. We’ve only just won you over, we’re not gonna risk scaring you off,” Calum replies after a second. Ash thinks it’s a sweet moment until he hears Luke’s groan. Calum, the little shit. Ashton gets up and turns around, forgets about walking for a moment when he sees all three of his boys together on the bed, Michael kissing Luke’s neck and Luke looking up at Calum in wonder. Calum’s hand is down Luke’s jeans and it makes Ashton’s insides feel funny.

“I think... Um, you should kiss,” Luke says then, sounding wrecked.

“I’m _so_ down with this voyeurism thing you seem to have,” Calum replies instantly, grin audible in his voice, and Ashton agrees wholeheartedly. If this gets Luke off, Ashton can make out with all of them in front of him. No problem whatsoever. Ash walks closer, as quiet as he can to not disturb any of them, and he gets to see Michael and Calum make out sloppily, Calum’s hand teasing Luke, and the loud groan Luke lets out at that makes Ashton move again. He climbs on the bed, eyes unwaveringly on his boys, and leans close to Luke.

“You’re so loud, I love it,” he whispers to Luke, lips almost teasing his earlobe. It’s true – he might be even louder than Calum, and it does a lot of things to Ashton. Luke opens his eyes to look back at him, and he looks thoroughly fucked. Ash can’t help but kiss him and smile at how long it takes Luke to kiss him back. He’s so happy Luke allowed himself to have this.

He’s still smiling when he pulls away. It’s nice to just lie here and kiss, but his dick might fall off soon if nobody touches it. He looks up to Calum and Michael still kissing. It still looks hot as hell even though Ash has seen it so many times.

“Cal, you’re with me?” he asks, sliding a hand up the back of Calum’s thigh. Calum and Michael separate, both breathing a little heavily, and Calum nods.

“I don’t think Mikey would let me get to Luke first,” he says, laughing and a little breathless.

“Damn right,” Michael grumbles. Calum leans in to kiss Michael again, then presses his lips to Luke’s for a second before turning to face Ashton. Ash also gets a kiss from him and when Calum pulls away, he’s gotten rid of his boxers, too. Ash grins at his sneaky ways.

“How do you wanna do it?” he asks, letting Cal take the lead like he tends to do. He loves it when Calum rides him, when Ash gets to look up at him in wonder; he loves it when Calum is on his back and Ash can look _down_ at him in wonder. When Calum turns away from him now, gets on his elbows and knees, Ashton is almost disappointed for a second, but then realises that like this, they can both look at Luke and Michael. It’s a good choice.

When Calum looks comfy, Ashton approaches him, fingers already coated with lube. After a few teasing touches, he slides one right in to the knuckle and grins when Calum gets vocal about it pretty much immediately. Even though Ash can only see a part of his face, it’s clear immediately that Calum is feeling good; the knowledge that he can do this makes Ash a bit dizzy. He keeps touching and teasing Calum, his stomach wonderfully twisting at Calum’s every reaction. There’s so much to take in – Calum’s breaths, his moans and hums, his little twitches and the way he keeps pushing back on Ashton’s finger, desperate for more. Ash adds another finger, getting a little breathless himself at the sound Calum lets out at that.

Calum and Luke are right next to each other and once Cal’s used to the second finger, Ashton can hear them talking.

“Hi,” Calum begins, holds out a hand for Luke to hold. Luke replies with a “hey” that makes Ash smile and twist his fingers a little just to tease. Calum, true to form, moans at that.

“Does it feel good?” Luke asks, the look on his face almost careful. Ash looks down at his innocent, beautiful little face. Luke is so gorgeous.

“So good,” Calum replies, his voice a little muffled. Ashton thinks about it for a second, doubting if he should, then comments on it anyway.

“He’s so weak for it,” he says and chuckles. Calum moans a little again and Ashton uses the moment to add another finger. Calum takes it so well, grinds back almost immediately, still trying to take the lead. For someone who loves getting fucked this much, he is awfully dominant.

Ashton is very stuck on Calum, but he does notice when Michael undresses Luke. Ash can’t even remember when Luke got rid of his jeans, but now he’s in boxers and socks and he’s about to not be. A quick look at Calum makes it clear that Luke is currently the star of the show. Ash slows his fingers down, as if waiting for a revelation, and when Michael does slide Luke’s boxers down, Ashton thinks he might be ready to fuck Calum now. He’s so turned on by all the dicks he doesn’t even laugh when Michael flicks Luke’s socks across the room; he just stares at Luke, naked and beautiful and finally theirs.

“I’m gonna,” Ashton begins but can’t even finish it; Calum nods, a little breathless. Ash wonders briefly if it’s weird to just stare at someone’s dick so intensely, but they’ve all waited for it. For so so _so_ long.

Ashton watches all of them while he fumbles with a condom. Calum’s already sliding in even closer to Luke, and Luke smiles happily in response. Every time Ashton sees him like this, happy and looking like he belongs, he feels relieved. Hopeful, even, that this isn’t the only time. For Michael’s sake, he truly wishes it isn’t. They all look so beautiful and Ash can’t believe how lucky he is. That he gets to kiss and touch them like this. He leans one knee on the bed when the condom is ready to go, and he’d get misty over having all three of them here if it weren’t for Michael.

“Spank Cal for me,” Mikey says and Ashton is right back in with the sex. He can be emotional about it later. He doesn’t question the order; he has seen Michael do it to Calum plenty of times, has done it himself, too. He’s seen how much Calum loves it. He rubs a hand over one of Calums asscheeks, as if testing the waters.

“Love you, Mikey,” Calum says, sounding like he means it, and Ashton smiles again before bringing his hand down. The smack is loud and Calum’s entire body tenses up with it, a broken moan escaping him. Ashton could do it more, but right now, he’s got more pressing matters to attend to. When Calum’s relaxed again, Ashton teases him with his fingers for a few moments, then slowly eases his dick into Calum. Calum’s breaths are ragged and uneven and he feels amazing around Ashton, perfect as always. It never ceases to feel fucking incredible.

It takes him a few moments to come back from the amazing high that getting inside Calum gave him, but when he does, it’s to Calum’s voice.

“I can’t believe,” Calum begins in a near-whisper, eyes on Luke’s dick in Michael’s hand, and when Ash sees it, he pushes in harder, leaving Calum’s sentence hanging in the air. He shares the sentiment – he can’t believe, either. He might, but only if Luke comes and then spends the night all cuddled up to them. Ash can hope.

It’s a lot to take in, having a foursome instead of a threesome. When it was just him and Cal and Mikey, they all had to be together so no one would feel left out, but now Mikey and Luke are doing their own thing and Ashton doesn’t know how he can give them and Calum equal attention. He thinks it’s fair when he keeps his eyes on Luke and Michael, but strokes Calum’s dick at the same time. Calum seems to agree, judging by the moan he lets out when Ashton wraps his fingers around him. Luke seems to follow his lead or something, because his hand slips between them and Michael looks almost broken when Luke finds what he’s looking for.

“Shit, Luke,” Michael whispers and it hits Ashton again – all the implications of his words. He gets it even if Luke doesn’t. He’s too gone to control what he’s saying, so he almost croaks out, “Oh my god, Michael, you’re so gone for him.” Michael only whines at that, which is fucking beautiful, and Ashton has to squeeze his eyes shut at something starting to build inside him.

He’s brought back to the beautiful, amazing reality with Calum’s half-finished question: “Shit, are you gonna...?” He open his eyes to find out who _is gonna_ what exactly and then moans when he sees Michael’s lips trailing downwards, leaving kisses on Luke’s chest. Michael has always been good at winning Luke over and this might just be the triumph of all trumphs.

“I am,” Michael replies, pride clear in his voice. Ashton groans. He’s not sure he can look at that without instantly coming.

“That’s awesome,” Calum concludes, sounding a bit lost, and Ash grins at that. He’s so happy that he’s made Calum into this mess, unable to properly voice his thoughts. As if to provoke, he grips Calum’s dick a little tighter, thrusts into him a bit stronger, and Calum groans.

“Do you always talk this much during sex?” Luke suddenly asks and Ashton is the first one to laugh. Michael and Calum follow a second after and the way Calum tightens up with his laughter does something amazing to Ashton’s dick, so he can’t keep laughing, lets it drift into a breathless smile.

“It’s more fun when we talk,” Calum finally answers the question. Ashton can hear how hard it is for him to put any words in order, so he awards him with a deeper thrust. After a second, Calum bravely adds, “More us. I don’t think I could have serious quiet sex with you guys.”

Ashton nods, unsure if anyone even saw it. Truth be told, it’s difficult for him to create words, too.

Then Michael actually does what he was gonna, and Ash can’t help but stare. He’s so close, he can feel how even his toes tingle with it, but he wants to hold on a little longer. It feels like fighting a tidal wave. Luke whispers a “fuck”, squeezes his eyes shut, and Calum, who’s looking right at Michael, adds a “shiiiiiit”. Ashton looks at all of them, entirely lost in his pleasure, trying to hold on. He speeds up, anyway, knows what’s coming soon, and he is in love with the way his movements make Calum bounce a little. Calum climbs closer to Luke to kiss him now that Michael has created a vacancy there, and they look so fucking hot doing it. Ashton isn’t going to last.

“So pretty,” Cal whispers, one hand in Luke’s hair.

“You are,” Luke replies in a low voice, and Ashton can’t see it, but he knows the crinkly-eyed smile is back. That’s what does it for him, the final thing he needs to stumble over the edge.

“Calum,” he lets out a warning, holding the boy closer to him. “Calum, shit.” He’s dizzy with the force of it, with how close he is. Calum always gets very enthusiastic about him coming, and this time is not an exception. “Come on, Ash, babe,” he whispers, clenches around him, and that’s it. His world seems to explode and he comes with a moan. Everything fades into the background for a while and his hand falls away from Calum’s dick. Everything seems to go in slow-mo and Ashton has to force himself to pull out and clean himself up. He presses a kiss to Calum’s lower back and steps away.

He’s dazed, but doesn’t take long; when he gets back, Calum is climbing to Luke’s other side, which Ashton doesn’t immediately understand. He’s still a bit sluggish. When he realises what Luke has apparently offered, his jaw wants to drop – if someone had told him two hours ago that Luke would want to touch Calum’s dick, Ashton would have laughed in a pained kind of way. He realises that Michael next to him has been touched very little in comparison with the rest of them, and figures he can fix that. Michael’s attention is entirely on Luke – he might not even notice how painfully hard he is. But Mikey’s been so good to Luke, he deserves to be satisfied. There’s no question. When Ash curls his fingers around Michael’s dick, it rips a satisfied moan from Michael. Ashton knows how good Luke must feel like this, so he plans on making Michael moan as much as possible. He keeps his rhythm steady, eyes flicking on Michael’s face – his hollowed cheeks, slightly teary eyes from gagging himself, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead – and Calum and Luke. Luke looks at home with a dick in his hand and Ash gets that feeling of wholesomeness again. It’s great.

He notices when Luke gets closer to the edge – he’s breathing heavily, letting out little moans he might not even notice, and his hand on Calum’s dick is almost shaking. Ash bites his lip when he hears Luke’s broken “Michael, gonna...” Ashton already knows Michael won’t pull away – he never has – but it’s hot to watch anyway. He sees Luke come for the first time and it’s so precious that Ashton hopes for a repeat. Sooner rather than later. Possibly a million times.

Michael pulls away from Luke when he’s swallowed everything and Ash uses it as a chance to drag him into a sitting position. He’s always liked to dominate like this, have someone pressed so close, so it turns him on, too. He looks at Calum who’s roughly jerking himself, Luke’s fingers still curled around his dick. They’re both so beautiful. Ashton can’t hold his thoughts inside his head.

“Isn’t it fucking amazing? Having sex with someone you’re so in love with,” he whispers right next to Michael’s ear. Michael whimpers and Ashton is not sure if it’s because of his words or the fact that Calum has come all over Luke’s chest. That’s something Ash would like to see him do again. Maybe on Luke’s face next time.

“I feel that all the time when I’m with you guys,” he continues, babbling on without thinking of the possible repercussions of his admission. “I feel it with all three of you. I know what it’s like. I’m so happy you’re all here. I love you all so fucking much, Michael.”

Michael is honest to god shaking in his arms when Luke decides to add fuel to the fire. Luke has made out with all of them before, but Ashton swears none of those make-outs has been this downright filthy. It makes something burn in the pit of his stomach, and of course, it helps Michael, too. He moans, loud and pained, and comes over Ashton’s fist and more of Luke’s stomach. Ash kisses his neck and then his temple soothingly – he guesses this must have been an incredibly intense orgasm, what with all the feelings that are involved. Then, he breaks away to go to Luke – he hasn’t been able to touch him in a while. Calum will probably take care of Michael. Ashton kisses Luke, uncoordinated and rough, but it’s very nice anyway.

“You were amazing,” Ashton whispers when the kiss ends and runs fingers over Luke’s cheek. “This was incredible. So different with you here.”

Luke smiles, blushing a little, and the hand he’d thrown around Ashton’s neck finds its way into his hair. Calum presses his lips to Ashton’s hair, too, probably gets Luke’s fingers too while he’s at it, and then disappears to go to Michael.

“Thanks,” Luke says quietly. “For, um, making me see... things.”

It makes Ashton laugh very softly. Luke is so cute that Ash wants to just squeeze his dumb lanky body.

“I’m glad you did see things,” he replies. That you want this, too. Would’ve sucked to leave you out of it forever.”

Luke nods at that, and Ash is glad he agrees.

“I would’ve joined out of pure jealousy, I think, even if I was straight,” Luke adds, a teasing tone in his voice, and Ashton can’t help but snort at that. He’d like to think that was true. Maybe that should’ve been their approach from the start: ‘Yo, Luke, we’re all fucking and you’re missing out.’ Sounds absolutely ridiculous, but then again, they don’t need to use that anymore anyway. Ash thinks it’s safe to assume that Luke is all in.

“Love you,” he whispers happily.

“Love you, too,” Luke repeats almost instantly and they both smile at each other.

“Give him to me,” Michael calls from the end of the bed, washcloth in hand, and Ashton gives away his spot, still staying close. Michael kisses Luke, first, gentler than Ash has probably ever seen him. Calum follows Michael to the bed, kneels next to Luke’s head and smiles at Ashton, reaching out for a hand to hold. Ash smiles right back at him, intertwining their fingers, and watches his boys as Michael cleans Luke up and Calum does his best to distract him with kisses and Luke looks up at them both, smiling.

Fuck, Ashton is so in love.

Michael decides it’s sleeptime when he’s done, pulls Luke close, refusing to let go. Ash saw it coming, and honestly, he won’t mind having Calum pressed against his back. Like, at all. Especially with the sweet “love you” Calum says right next to his ear. Ashton says it back without thinking, like a reflex. He settles comfortably in Calum’s arms and takes hold of his fingers. The other hand finds Luke’s. Luke gives his fingers a gentle squeeze, the comforting gesture they used on him all evening, and Ash smiles when he squeezes them back. Michael turns the light off and pets Ashton’s fingers. Ash lifts his gaze to him and blushes at the curious, thoughtful look he sees there. He’d hoped Michael had forgotten, but apparently he remembers.

That’s a talk they’ll need to have soon, then.

Ashton would be nervous about it, but having all of his boys within touching and kissing distance is enough to keep him calm. So he smiles at Michael and closes his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much if you made it here! i'm not gonna promise two more parts of this (i'm not sure if there's enough left to express for Michael and Calum to get a word in), but hell, i'll probably try anyway.
> 
> if you liked it, leave a comment - they mean the absolute world to me. you can also find me on [tumblr](http://whoisliina.tumblr.com).


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